Miscarriage hurts. But you are not alone.
1 in 4 Pregnancies end in miscarriage. Men, women, family members and friends are affected by that loss. Although miscarriage has affected many of us - we rarely talk about our experiences. At Voice for Life, we want to change that. Your loss matters. Your experience matters. And healing is possible. There is hope after loss. Keep reading to find out more.
JUMP TO:
“When the nurse said, “I can’t find a heartbeat,” I thought - keep looking. You’ll find it. I feel it. Then the doctor said, “You’ve lost the baby.” And I thought, this cannot be happening. But it happened. And it hurt. A lot. It still does.”
Where can I find miscarriage help?
A miscarriage, either your own or that of a loved one, can be a very painful experience, leading to intense emotions and grief. It may also be confusing, as this loss can be quite sudden and leave those involved wondering what happened or what to do. For those looking for help, there are a number of miscarriage resources available to answer questions, offer support, and help in the healing process. Not all resources are a fit for every situation. We have gathered a few different resources that can serve as a place to start.
While some of the resources listed below are not available in the Bosnian/Croatian/Serbian language, many web browsers (like Google Chrome) include a “translate” option which can be utilized.
Voice for Life, its creators, and all those involved are not responsible for the content of the individual resources listed for referral, nor does providing a link constitute an endorsement of a resource.
General Information about Miscarriage
Miscarriage is the most common kind of pregnancy loss, affecting around one in four pregnancies. This section of the UK’s Miscarriage Association’s website aims to tell you something about what it is, why it happens and more. https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/information/miscarriage/
A list of common “FAQ’s” about Miscarriage can be found here, also from the Miscarriage Association.
In the B/C/S language, this web page offers a brief overview.
“Hope After Loss” Booklet
Many men and women are seeking to make sense of their own or a loved one's miscarriage. This booklet is for those who have been touched by miscarriage - recently or years ago - to reflect on what has happened and to assist in their grief journey. Know that you are not alone. Request your FREE copy here.
Help with Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Miscarriage and other pregnancy loss can produce strong emotions that may change over time. Denying, repressing, or pushing down these emotions may work for a while, but continued refusal to face these emotions can lead to unhealthy behaviors. Below are resources designed to help with specific unhealthy coping mechanisms that may develop.
Voice for life is not a medical or mental health provider. If you or someone you know is facing an emergency, please dial your local emergency services (in BiH, 124 for the ambulance and 122 for the police).
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This resource from Plavi Telephon will allow you to enter the symptoms you are experiencing and your location, and will give you a list of local providers.
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This resource from Plavi Telephon will allow you to enter the symptoms you are experiencing and your location, and will give you a list of local providers.
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This resource from Plavi Telephon will allow you to enter the symptoms you are experiencing and your location, and will give you a list of local providers.
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Gamble Aware provides free advice, tools, and support to keep people safe from gambling harm. https://www.gambleaware.org
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The www.workaholics-anonymous.org website provides information about working compulsively, including signs and symptoms. Website lists support groups and online resources.
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NARKO-NE is an organization in BiH fighting against drug abuse and more. https://prevencija.ba/en
Alcoholics Anonymous offers free publications, videos, and audio clips about recovery from addiction to alcohol. http://www.aa.org
Nicotine Anonymous’s website provides information about their Twelve Step program and it lists the locations and/or phone numbers of national and international support groups. www.nicotine-anonymous.org
Narcotics Anonymous assists those who struggle with an addiction to narcotics. Representatives can offer assistance in finding local support groups worldwide. Anonymous and Confidential. www.na.org
Marijuana Anonymous’s website provides information about the Twelve Step program for those struggling with an addiction to marijuana. www.marijuana-anonymous.org
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The saa-recovery.org website provides information on sexual addiction and the SAA program of recovery.
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Plavi Telephon (BiH)
The blue telephone is a counseling line that deals with providing psychological help and support to children and young people. The blue phone is a place you can turn to when you have a problem and when you need to talk about how you feel and what's bothering you. The people you will talk to will listen to you and be there for you and together with you will try to find a solution that is in your best interest. +387 080 05 03 05 https://plavitelefon.ba/
Centar Srce (Serbia)
Center “Srce”, located in Novi Sad, is a voluntary, nongovernmental, non-profitable organization, which that offers suicide prevention and emotional support to people in crisis. Every day from 2pm to 11pm, volunteers from Center “Srce” talk to people who are lonely, upset, hurt, sad, desperate and – listen to them. They don’t patronize; they take problems seriously; they don't “comfort” people saying that problems will go away and, what is the most important, they don't tell them what to do.
https://www.centarsrce.org/index.php
Plavi Telephon (Croatia)
We all encounter challenges on our journey through life, and it takes courage to seek help and support in these situations. That's why we are here for you, contact us with full confidence. Helpline Hours: Monday-Friday, 9:00 a.m.-8:00 p.m. Helpline Tel. No.: 00385 (1) 4833 888 https://www.plavi-telefon.hr/index.html
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SOS RED LINE - 033 222 000 - is a phone number for citizens of Sarajevo Canton and beyond. Operating around the clock, it enables reporting any form of domestic violence: physical, psychological, sexual or economic violence. After reporting violence, if necessary anonymously, callers will receive relevant information on how to solve the problem of violence or prevent the violence, and who to turn to for further assistance. If necessary, after the phone report, the police and relevant social welfare services can be included, and there is the possibility of placing the person in the women’s shelter.
Please remember, there is no shame in asking for help. Grief can be messy and complicated. You are not alone.
Here is a list of the Contact Phone Numbers for Psychological support at Dom Zdravlje in BiH.
Online Peer Support Groups
Coming soon
Information for Partners
The United Kingdom Miscarriage Association provides a wealth of information on all aspects of miscarriage. This link will take you specifically to their page dealing with the struggles that partners go through with a miscarriage. https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/your-feelings/partners/
Miscarriage Support Auckland provides comprehensive info surrounding all aspects of miscarriage. This section offers practical advice for men who are dealing with a miscarriage. https://www.miscarriagesupport.org.nz/men/
Real Stories
Some people find that reading the stories of others is a powerful way to find camaraderie and healing. The following stories are real, and because of that, may at times include details that could be triggering or distressing. Names, if included, have been changed for privacy.
“Some days you never forget. I was with my daughter. She was 12 weeks pregnant. The doctor said she miscarried and then they said it would be okay. She could try again. But she wasn’t okay. Neither was I...It is hard to watch your child suffer. To not know what to do or say. You just do the best you can.”
“My wife found out she was pregnant in October of last year. We’d been trying for a few months and were extremely excited... Not knowing any better, I didn’t take off work to go to the appointment with her. It was around 4pm when she called me crying... I felt like I had to be strong for her. Telling our family was one of the hardest parts of it. One good thing that came out from having told our family about the pregnancy was that when we told them about the miscarriage we discovered that miscarriages like this aren’t uncommon... It still hurts, I don’t think we’ll ever totally get over the experience, but the pain from it has dulled over time. ”
“My miscarriage occurred over thirty years ago. I still think about it every day. She would have been born in April 1988. I wonder about who she would have been.”
“Your second miscarriage. They don’t talk about it. And when they do, they tell you “it’s common” and “it’s not your fault.” The bleeding and the cramps eventually end, though, and they’ll say “you can try again.” But the anxiety of what trying again means kicks in... It means that every single possible symptom is over analyzed, because for whatever reason, the same symptoms could mean either normal PMS or pregnancy. It also means that each month when the blood begins to flow once more, you’re one month further away from being a mother.”
Want to share your story?
Telling your miscarriage story will help you to start or to continue grieving the loss of your child or the child of someone close to you. It may be difficult or even painful to tell your story. Keep in mind that you might need to make several attempts to start or finish it.
This space is for you. Stories submitted may be shared ANONYMOUSLY on our website. If you would rather keep your story private, indicate this by writing “DO NOT SHARE” in the story. We do not have the ability to respond since submissions are anonymous. Please indicate your email in the story if you would like us to communicate with you. Email addresses will not be shared.
Miscarriage hurts. But there is hope after loss.